D.BTarpley's Amazing Ass Blog #16

Greetings and salutations people and peoplettes, I am the almighty hacker of your subconscious, reaching up and down into your soul with my hook to grab that which is barely lucid and drag it kicking and screaming out your ripped nostril into some semblance of self awareness. I turn the known yet forgotten into the unknown so that it once again becomes known, and all the stronger for its absence. I am that friend you always wanted. I am that stranger sitting next to you at the bar you are just dying to lean into and reveal all. I am your lover… the one who cums all over your face and makes you love it before exiting stage right not caring whether you are breathing or freshly corpsified. I am all this and more as I weave my wordy spell through your earholes and around the nooks and crannies of that oatmeal you call a brain. I am motherfucking GOD! And you love it. This is the relationship we have, and it is as it ever was and as it ever shall be. Otherwise your eyes would not be devouring these sequential letters right now. You are hungry. There is great hunger in you. You need to be fed and I have the only spoon long enough to reach your mouth and dump into your eager throat. So long as you realize that not every single one will be a winner, and you can take that in whichever context you like, then you will be able to live with this arrangement. And what a symbiotic arrangement it is. You feed off my pain and I in turn feed off your feeding, some of which brings me great pain… It is the great circle of life. HAMUMUWAYHHHHH!!!! See Jack run. See Jill chasing Jack. See Jill holding a cast iron skillet, recently purchased from the Paula Dean collection. See Jack throw away a used condom in disgust as he turns a corner. See it all and know the truth of the matter. And next and next and next and next…. Tell us what happens next D.B.? I yearn for this and yet I fear its arrival as well. What if there is no next? What if, once I reach the end of my travels, my audience is not ready to let me go softly into that night? What if they capture my soul and demand more…. MORE! MORE! MORER! MORERER! MOREREST! And what if I am unable to deliver, my pencil limp on the paper… lead dust spent and smeared by the passing of my clumsy naked palm. What then? I love sentence fragments. If I didn’t then… “There’s a storm that’s raging through my frozen heart tonight.” says Tina Turner. But do I really need to be beaten by an angry black man for ten plus years to discover that? Isn’t there a storm raging in all our frozen hearts? Doesn’t life have that effect on each and every one of us? Life is a motherfucker. People are always looking for some simplistic reason, some scapegoat of a condition to blame for this phenomenon. It is because I am ‘insert race here’; It is because I am ‘insert sex here’; It is because I had this hole ripped open by ‘insert penis here’. But the plain and simple fact is that life sucks. It is all part of the human condition. We swim upstream our whole lives and then we die. But wait. Don’t give up hope on me just yet. Don’t you see? This is why you need me. This is why we need each other. This is why this – what we are doing right here right now exists!!! Wow. That blows your fucking mind doesn’t it? I string words together in a delightful popcorny ribbon of yummy goodness for you to feast your tired, bored eyes on until the remains of the day have been all but forgotten. I carry you through the night into the next dawn. What you do with that moment when I set you back on your feet is entirely up to you. It can be business as usual or ‘Hello brand new day!’ Hello brand new day. That’s it… lick it, lick it all up, don’t you leave one shiny salty drop you filthy whore! Ahem. This has been your co-pilot speaking. Until next time, keep reading and have an amazing ass day.