D.B.Tarpley's Amazing Ass Blog-7/3/18

Greetings and salutations people and peoplettes,

There’s blood on the sidewalk

Blood on the street

Blood in my urine

And me on my knees

The things which sometimes they do-a-pass through this gelatinous mass of lukewarm mashed potatoes we call grey matter are rarely if ever as connected as we would like to believe. Oh we pretend. We cajole. We make like the wind and flatulate.

True crime is truly a crime. You can watch it/ reenact it/ tickle, pinch, and slap it, but none of this will lead to a greater understanding of the why. THE WHY I SAY!!!

Why would a person, any person, do the things they do. Can we look at previously displayed patterns of action which have been well and properly documented throughout the annals of time? Or is there some greater/ nobler butt-stuff we can get into?

Only God knows.

But seriously why would he care. We are but dust mites doing what rectal dust mites do. If we stick our baby in an oven, turn on the temperature to High Broil, and hold the door shut against the ensuing kinetic screams - why should HE care? More will come even as some will go. And the particulars of each passing are beyond HIS concern.

In other words, is the blinking in and out of one sub-atomic particle when compared to another something we can inherently distinguish? Does it even register without great concentration? I don’t know. I am not we. I speak to we through the conduit of thee but my understanding of HE is not what it used to be.

Pardon me.

I must pee.

Sooooo much better.

If one person tells the next the amalgamated whole of the knowledge they have acquired throughout the entire course of their life and the next ads their own life’s worth of acquired knowledge to the pile and so on and so forth then wouldn’t it stand to reason that some form of rapid evolution must occur… some form of, dare I say, enlightenment must occur.

Then why isn’t the occurring of this readily apparent within the confines of the general populace? Are we not learning? Do we not care? Has the thirst for knowledge been so thoroughly revoked that the same tired trains of thought lay convenient tracks betwixt the synapsis of our brains?

Aaaaaaaallllllll Aboaaaaarrrrrdddddd!!!! The 3:20 to Starbucks is about to depart! Tickets please! Ticket’s please! Have your tickets out and ready to be punched!!!

Just as an aside, they don’t punch as many tickets these days as they did when I was in elementary school. I can remember getting holes punched in all kinds of things back then. I seem to remember I liked it. It might make life as an adult more tolerable if more things in my daily curriculum got holes punched in them. Then again I may be putting too great an emphasis on nostalgia and sublimating one thing for another.

Balls!

Where was I?

Blood in my urine.

Oh yeah.

When was the last time you told someone in your life you loved them and truly meant it? I mean, when was the last time you said the words and they weren’t simply an expected response? When did their utterance come as a surprise to either you or the ears they fell upon?

A while would be my guess.

And isn’t it sad, that I can guess something like this and get it right? Something as trite and banal as this should not be readily guessable. Not even in the slightest. Life should be bright and vibrant, full of new and fresh sensations all day E’ry day yo.

Said the pale white man with blood in his urine.

And why is that. Surely someone knows. Surely someone has the medical expertise to be able to sit down and definitively say, THERE! That right there… that’s what’s wrong with you. And here is the sure fire thing to fix that right there.

But even in this day and age of modern medicine this is never the result. It’s always, let’s try this… let’s try that. And then of course, pay me/ pay me/ pay me…

Pay me for another guess. And if you pay me enough then maybe… just maybe we might halfway solve this one thing among the many. Because it is always something. Even when one something gets taken care of there are always a million other somethings about to occur.

And you know what?

I honestly believe this is the way for everyone.

Richard Simmons.

David Lee Roth.

Donald Trump.

Beyonce.

Harrison Bergeron.

Everyone!

We all have the same issues… the same discontent… the same shit. They say carbon is the central building block for all things living but I am of the school of thought that shit is actually what we are all made of. I am of the shit-school of thought. It’s a shitty way to be but if we are all made of shit then shit becomes the norm and suddenly something else becomes worse by proxy. Something unmentionable.

Ssssshhhhhhh!!!!!

Don’t mention it.

If you do then it shall become known. Its mere utterance shall bring it into existence and we all, each and every one of us will suddenly have some new thing to deal with… some new shit.

((NEW AND IMPROVED SHIT! NOW WITH SWEET-N-SPICY FLAVOR CHRYSTALS!!!))

All I am trying to say is that sometimes when you least expect it this thing will occur which you have never experienced before and that when that happens you should take a moment to acknowledge this thing and perhaps document it, if only for yourself, so that the passing of such will not go unmarked. Otherwise, how will the cows know when to come home at night? They will just stay out in the fields and freeze to death. An unled cow is as good as a bent Frisbee.

You just sit there in your chair and you think about that.

I dare you.

And then you can get up and have an amazing ass day.

But not without contemplating that which you have just learned.

Bitch.