D.B.arpley's Amazing Ass Blog #13

Greetings people and peoplettes. Christmas is nearly upon us and I realize that many of you probably expect me to rant and rave against the holiday and pitch a hissy fit about the rampant commercialism etc… etc… But the truth of the matter is that I think Christmas is a wonderful time of year. It is beautiful. You gather together with family, eat good food, and enjoy a festive ambiance. At its core the holiday is about love. And there is never anything wrong with love. But, plopped smack dab in the middle of it all is a commercial for Christianity. And that’s exactly what it is, a commercial being shoved right down your throat. ((Try new and improved Christ! – now with flavor crystals!)) The traditional Christmas story we all know and love is told in the 4 gospels of the New Testament – Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John. These books of course are named after 4 of his disciples and are written as a sort of first hand relating of the birth of Christ. There are several problems with this: 1.) none of the 4 were actually around at the time of his birth and as such would have no first-hand knowledge of the incident. 2.) The books themselves were written 2 to 3 hundred years after the death of Christ so no one who was alive during his time was alive at the time of the ‘telling.’ So why were they written? They were written as a commercial to ‘sell’ new converts on a burgeoning religion. Since the centerpiece of Christianity, at least in regards to the conversion of Jews which at the time was the prime demographic, was the establishment of Jesus Christ of Nazareth as the prophesized ‘Messiah’ from the Talmud– it was important to provide reasonably authentic evidence to that effect. Hence, the Christmas story – full of deliberate lies like all commercials – to act as an incontrovertible selling point. Lie 1 – Joseph and Mary had to return to their hometown of Bethlehem due to a Roman imposed census. The Romans kept extremely precise records of all the census’ they took, and there is no record of one in that region around that time. This narrative tick is in place to tie Jesus directly to the lineage of King David – from whose loins it was prophesized the Messiah would come. Lie 2 – Mary was a virgin. This is a well known mistranslation of the original Aramaic to Hebrew to Greek. The original text read ‘young girl.’ It was deliberately mistranslated to make the Immaculate Conception more miraculous and to also tie it to further prophecy validating Jesus as the Messiah. Nowhere in the original text does it refer to Marry as a virgin. Lie 3 – The Nativity scene. There are so many things wrong with the presented image verses historical fact it is hard to list them all at once but I will try. There were no shepherds as at that time of year the sheep would be kept secluded in the valley. Joseph and Mary were a wealthy couple and would not have had to stay in a manger. There was no little drummer boy. 3 wise men did not come to the manger to impart their gifts, (Theological scholars mostly agree that the bible is fairly clear that the wise men visited the couple and the by then toddler in Nazareth directly before the family left for Egypt.) There are more inaccuracies of course but the point is that none of this ‘B.S.’ matters in relation to the holiday. The holiday and its trappings themselves have nothing to do with Christianity whatsoever. The date itself has arrived as an amalgamation of various pagan festivals, chiefly The Roman Winter Solstice and The Epiphany; and has been juggled around over the ages amidst confusion surrounding the transition between the Gregorian and Julian calendars. All the gifts and trees and food and trappings are the bastardized chum of these various pagan festivals. And still, none of that B.S. matters. All that matters is love. That, in the end, is all the holiday is about: Unconditional love for your fellow man. So this holiday skip the lies and the bullshit religion has to offer and just go out and help someone. After all, it’s what Christ would have done. Merry Christmas to all and have an amazing ass holiday.