D.B.Tarpley'd Amazing Ass Blog-9/28/2

• Greetings and salutations people and peoplettes, D.B.Tarpley here talking today about the mythos you create as a writer. Anything any writer has ever written contains a mythos. The mythos entails the physical realities of the universe you create. I’ve said it before and I will say it again: when you write you are God. The universe you create is yours and yours alone. There is only one rule and that is stick to the physics you create. This is just common courtesy to the reader. For example if you have a character so strong he can rip a car door off the frame, don’t let him be knocked out by a girl’s punch in the third act… be consistent. If a character is bitter and jaded in the first act, then unless there is some sort of cathartic revelation in the second act, don’t make them all happy and bubbly in the third act. Consistency is the key to everything. It turns your words into reality. If you want to see prime examples of what not to do as a writer just pick any network T.V. prime time cop or law drama. The writers of these things are notorious for changing the rules halfway through as it suits the course they want their narrative to take. This often causes the story to not ring true and to only be bought by people lacking the cognitive capacity to question anything presented to them as reality. Unfortunately this is most of America… hence prime time network T.V.. Mythos consistency is relevant in any kind of storytelling but it becomes particularly important when you are talking about the fantastic. If your reality is so far removed from actual reality as to need an explanation of the rules then you had better be darn sure you stick to those rules. I hate watching a show like True Blood – which has many different writers over the course of its run – only to see a character be able to do something in one episode and not be able to do it in another. But it happens all the time. I am currently in the middle of a fantastical book involving, among other things, vampires and zombies. These are much exposed creatures and it is really hard to put any kind of new spin on their presented existence. All I could do is nail down my vision of who and what they are. I am now going to give you some of the physical realities of my book, ‘The Death of Fear.’ (WARNING: THE FOLLOWING MAY BE SEEN AS SPOILERS, SO IF YOU PLAN TO READ IT AND WANT TO GO IN BLIND YOU MAY WANT TO SKIP THIS PORTION OF THE BLOG.) The vampires in my book are turned by a bite from another vampire. They have a gestation period and then wake as vampires. They need human blood to remain sane, without it the craze for it grows to the point of insanity. They cannot consume zombie blood as it is dead and acts as a poison to their system. They have no choice but to sleep during the day – when the sun comes up their entire body turns to a pile of maggots until they awake at sunset. They have no memory of this time and are helpless to do anything while the sun is up. My vampires have varying degrees of powers based upon their age. They are not invulnerable. Gunshots can and will destroy their bodies. They still have a reflection in mirrors. Garlic does nothing nor crosses, the vampirism is a disease. This does not mean they are not cursed by God. They can fly in a swooping gliding fashion. They can jump real high. They are super strong and super fast. They can walk on the ceiling. And my vampire in particular thinks ABBA is the pinnacle of musical achievement by man. Zombies are the recently dead or bitten. Zombyism is also a disease. But it also is ultimately attributed as a curse from God. Zombies crave anything hot and organic. They don’t just go for the brains. My zombies are slow. They live to consume. The only way to kill them is by decapitation or damage to the brain. They do not shit. Their assholes do not work. Their organs are just a casing to hold the food they shove inside. They eat until their stomachs burst or the food backs up and squeezes back out their mouth. Their blood is black. They never sleep. My zombies will not attack a car if the windows are tinted. They only attack people or small animals they can see. They won’t eat horses or anything of equal size. They will however eat shit, in fact they crave it. There you go: part of the new mythos for my new novel. You don’t have to agree with my rules. If you like write your own damn book. But when you read mine you are in my world… my universe… my reality. Until next time keep reading and have an amazing ass day.

• 
  
• 
  

OCTOBER 27